Funny business

This blog is going to be in an interview format. Who's interviewing me? Hmm...I don't know. A person my head made up (let's not get into that...that's a whole other post!) and we'll call her Jan. Jan is from the major comedy club I will be performing in someday when I make it big. Jan wants to know...

Jan: Julie, what's it like to be so funny?

Me: Hilarious.

Jan: No, seriously.

Me: It's like a constant comedy act in my head, but I don't really plan it. It just happens. Like breathing.

Jan: Do you think you learned how to be funny?

Me: No. I think I was born funny. You can learn to be funny, but being born funny is different. Sure, you can "learn" how to be funny, but it's not the same if your head and heart aren't into it, and your genes.

Jan: Why is your humor so successful?

Me: It's about 3 things: timing, delivery, and swearing. Oh, and not having a verbal filter helps...so 4 things. Things just fly out of my mouth...sometimes I shock myself! But, my rule of thumb is if I make at least 1 person uncomfortable or blush each day, I'm a success. I've learned that if you're not uncomfortable, you're not growing. It's the shock factor.

Jan: Do people get your sense of humor?

Me: For the most part. Sometimes, I think my humor is lost on some people, but they clearly don't have a good sense of humor. Humor is a daily part of life. Those people that are dry as toast and "frosty" tend to just stare at me blankly. Another success for me: getting the toasties to smile. I will crack you; you just wait. I find that sarcasm and wittiness make my humor what it is.

Jan: ~blankly staring~

Me: Just you wait. I will crack you.

Jan: Do people find you offensive?

Me: Probably. I've learned you can't please all the people all the time, so if I offend you...sorry, and don't think twice about it. It's all about reading people. For example, at work one day, I called a co-worker "Pyle driver." She does not get offended easily, but honestly...what was I supposed to do when she has the last name of Pyles? She had no words, blushed, and walked away. Meanwhile, the rest of the people that heard it just looked at me with their jaws dropped, immediately followed by a hysterical roar of laughter. Yes, probably not office appropriate, but like I said, I have no filter.

Jan: Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

Me: As a washed up hooker on the side of the road in Compton. Ha. No just kidding. I hope you know that was a joke. My goal is to someday perform on stage. Whether it be an amateur show at a comedy club that seats 30 people, or a big club in LA. If I can be funny and pay the bills, I am a happy girl. I would love to "roast" somebody! Figuratively, not literally. I'm not into cannibalism.

Jan: Where does your inspiration come from?

Me: Life. People. Every day situations. I find people fascinating and enjoy people watching...you know, in a non-creeper/stalker sort of a way. Even the most mundane thing can prompt a joke. It's amazing what people do when they think no one is watching. I've also learned children can be very inspiring. They just do what they feel and say what they think. Honesty is the key.

Jan: Did you make anyone blush or become uncomfortable today?

Me: I sure did. It turns out the word "twatwaffle" is pretty funny.

Jan: Yes. Yes, it is.

Me: SUCCESS! Thank you for taking the time to interview me. This concludes our interview. Watch for my name in lights!

Jan: But...I....

Me: No, we're done now!

Jan: Touche.

~Jan is an idiot~