Are you pregnant? No? Oh, awkward.

I haven't written for a while, and I need a quick blogging fix! Today's subject: keeping your mouth shut and leaving certain topics alone. I know...me. With a FILTER? Impossible you say. Well, in my almost 30 years of life, I have actually developed one. It may not always be on, but I've gotten better.

There are the usual suspects of topics that are best left untouched, at least with those people that you are not close with, or those that are easily offended. Unless you are looking to stir up a debate, healthy or not. Know your "audience" before diving in.

Subject: Religion
Leave it alone. I'm all for equality and different religions, but I haven't always been. I went through my "pushy Bible thumper" phase (no offense to those that are religious. See, that might already be taboo!)and thought I must be right. I remember the day that helped me see that there's not a "right" religion. One day, I was reading the Bible, and realized my brother wasn't a believer/follower (at least not to my standards), and I was worried about his soul. I went to his room to plead with him that he read the Bible and that I was worried that we wouldn't see each other in Heaven. He listened with an attentive ear; he let me speak and rant. I left a copy of the Bible on his bed and gave him a tearful hug. He never once said anything until I was done. In a nutshell, it was this: Julie, there are many religions out there. If a Muslim is the best Muslin he can be, a Buddhist is the best Buddhist he can be, or a Jew is the best Jew she can be...will they not get into Heaven? They are following the rules of THEIR religion and beliefs. Just because they don't believe in what you do, does that make them wrong? I didn't want to admit it at the time, I mean....I wanted to be right! But, that really got me thinking. My general mantra of religion, and mine personally, taken from The Dalai Lama: My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness. I take this to heart on a daily basis. It's not hard to hold a door open for someone, or give them a dime for their coffee when they are 6 cents short.

Subject: Politics
While some are looking for a grand political debate, and a spoon to stir the pot with, in general, this can be a touchy subject. Personally, I'm not a political person. I vote, I try to understand the issues, and I choose the best candidate. But, I'm not that "into" it. I have friends that are hardcore politicians at heart. They love to shove beliefs down your throat. Bickering won't help, voting will. For instance, I have a friend that brought up a very valid political question and posted his ideas on Facebook. This started a riot. Name calling, nay saying, questioning of his character/morals/beliefs, and anger in general. He was expressing his beliefs. Which, is a right he has, and as Facebook glory goes, if you don't like it, don't read it. If you want to express your beliefs to counteract his, that's fine. You don't have to be mean about it. Once again, it's about having an open mind and letting people do what they will do. You can tell me about your political stance until you're blue in the face. I will listen, and I will respect it. I will NOT try to change your mind. That's not my job, it's yours.

Subject: Parenting
Touchy! Not everyone likes to hear they are failing as a parent, or that there are other ways of doing things, or even take advice for that matter. Oh, YOUR kid doesn't eat his peas? Wow, you're a crappy parent. MY kid eats all of his peas....AND cauliflower. Hey, that's great! Parenting award for you! You know, I just saw your kid eat 3 boogers while you've been here. I don't agree with all people's child rearing methods. You are raised by your parents, and you either adhere to their methods, go a completely different route, or perhaps combine them. Nothing is wrong with that. I remember I went to the store once with Lilli. She was less than a year and a half. It was fall time. I had to run to the store really quickly, so I just grabbed her in her button up long legged, short sleeved onsie and socks. It's Arizona. Fall means perhaps dropping to the low 70s/high 60s. By my standards, it was not cold. In the store, I had a lady approach me. She got really close...too close for my comfort. She says, "Wow, you should really put a coat and shoes on her. It's freezing out! I know, I teach a parenting class." To which, I graciously thanked her for her advice and told her, "it's Arizona, and it's really not cold out. She's not blue, is she? I'm quite sure she doesn't have hypothermia. Thanks for your concern, but we'll be fine. And good luck with those parenting classes!" I got a scowl for that one. Oh well, stick your nose in someone else's business. It was not as if I was hitting my child in public. Guess what? She lived! I'm quite certain she felt the need to insert herself in my business because she assumed I was probably 20 with a kid and had no idea what to do. I got you, you old hag! I should have recommended a good brand of fiber for her.

Subject: Weight
Oh dear LORD, leave it alone! People are self conscious as it is. They don't need you pointing out their "Oprah arms" or extra few pounds in their gut. You think I don't know? I do! If you have weight issues, I'm sure you are acutely aware of it. Unless you don't own a mirror or a scale, I'm sure you know. You don't tell someone that they need to start dieting if they don't want to be as fat as they were before. Leave those thoughts in your head! If people want to shove their face full of fried Twinkies and cheese burgers, let it be. If you think they have an issue, and you truly care and are close to them, maybe some sort of intervention is needed. Unless they are truly at risk of health issues or have lost so much weight, they look like a skeleton, try to keep your thoughts to yourself. I like to say: my weight will not be on my tombstone, and I'm certain that is not what I will be remembered for. If I died tomorrow, would the person delivering my eulogy say, "we are here to mourn the loss of Julie. 29 years old and 138 pounds"? Pretty sure that would be a NO. I now understand why my mother was so hurt when I was about 9 years old and she had a swimsuit on, and I asked if she was having another baby. Ouchie. Sorry, mommy! After years of wear and tear, age, and kids, the human body changes. It's nature. Unless you want a punch to the nose, never ask a woman if she is expecting, unless it's VERY obvious!!!

People can be very sensitive. I run my mouth and I'm certain I've offended multiple people in my day. Usually, it's not because I don't care, it's because my mouth runs faster than my brain. With age, I've become more aware of social no-nos. I laugh when Lilli does it, but youth really sees no sides; they just say what they see! I had a friend who's kid came up, patted my belly, and asked if I was going to have a baby. It hurt a little, but it made me laugh. He's 5. Maybe time to hit the treadmill? ;)